I have several problem or gag knits that I am going to frog. Frogging is when you rip out stitches, usually starting over again. It is called a frog because you have to “rip it.”

While I have been cleaning out my Box of Despair I have come across a few of these items.

Hall of Knitting Shame

This monstrosity was made for my sister, The Bear, as a joke. I threatened her with some kind of Olivia Newton-John “Physical” lounging outfit and this is what I got. Actually, it wasn’t such a bad accomplishment if you focus on the fact that I got to practice cables. Other than that, it’s a piece of garbage.

Next up: a hooded blanket. Originally, I bought the yarn for a purse but I never made it because I couldn’t get my hands on some lining fabric I liked.  I bought two skeins for the purse and thought it would’ve worked for the blanket. It didn’t. I never attached the hood.
Here is where the two yarns meet. It’s hand dyed wool.
This one has fond memories for me but I knew when I was making it that I would take it apart and make something different. 
This is the costume I wore for my last show with Plaskool Cherry Pop in Bushwick. Our costumes had to be made of bright neon colors. I found this ridicu-fab yarn at my local yarn shop, The Yarn Co. in NYC.  Please note that I only made one cut in that yarn to end the ball. I couldn’t figure out how to successfully incorporate a little ball of yarn into the costume and look cool opposed to a hot mess.

The yarn was a bit expensive and I would have never touched it had it not been for Myriad Slits’ crazy ambition for originality and love of the avant garde.
It’s hand-spun, hand dyed wool and quite delicate.
I might make a bear, I might make a Lady Gaga inspired jacket. I haven’t decided. I might make two things: one for me, one for Myriad. Its fate is sealed with destination unknown.

Ah, the big sweater. This one, I created for Halloween ’05 or ’06. It’s an oversized sweater ’80s style. I made myself crazy trying to finish it in time though we had no plans to go trick-or-treating nor to go to a party. 

I had some leftover yarn from a blanket I made for a college friend and I decided to buy some pink to throw in the mix. 
I like pink. Duh.
This is also another project I knew I wouldn’t keep this way when I made it. I kept all the yarn intact.

This is a cable and rib sweater vest I started. I don’t know where the rest of the yarn is. I think I used part of it to make a double-breasted coat for Turtle when he was a baby. Anyhow, it’s gone, too.

I forgot what round was the cable round and I don’t care to figure it out. 
Other problems:
I’ve lost weight since then
I forgot to use smaller needles for the bottom
General laziness
Here, we have the beginning of a mohair shawl. I’m really not that far so frogging and recreating is not a big deal.

Here we have a sneak peek at the border of The Evil Blanket. I am no longer interested in this rather simple lace imitation. Unfortunately, one piece is attached already. Too bad it’s gotta go.

A piece of the EB border. I thought I’d make the border separately and sew it on later. Great plan, idiot.
This used to be a ribbed sweater I bought from Banana Republic late Fall ’01. It was a turtleneck with cuffed sleeves. I wasn’t a fan because it seemed a bit short in the body but it was great at keeping me warm. I used to have an identical sweater in pink but I have since lost it. The yarn is merino wool.
However, I’ve already frogged that sweater and this is what I started making. Again, I forgot to make the ribs at the bottom in a smaller needle and it’s too big. If I didn’t mind being a tubby mess with croissant crumbs in my hair, it wouldn’t be a problem. But I do. And here we are at second frog.
Finally, there’s this sweater. It’s a children’s sweater made without a pattern or even a concept of how a sweater is supposed to be constructed. The original sleeve holes are waaaayy too small. I tacked down the extra bits to make it work. The sleeves are pitiful and the front collar is exactly the same as the back. No child that big would be able to get through the neck opening. Trust me.  I tried. Good news: it’s FAIRISLE! No itty bitty bits of yarn. Hooray. I toy with the idea of sewing up the open parts and making it a pillow.

Mostly, I’m tired of seeing this stuff around. I’ve moved with all of this stuff in tow and I’m over it. I don’t want to see my adventures in failure anymore. So rather than complain, I’m saying, “Goodbye,” to these former projects and “Hellooooo, Nurse,” to all the new ones I’ll create.


One thought on “FROG YOU!

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